So, here you are. You've been struggling for something to help you feel like you "should." You're not calm enough, or thin enough, or hopeful enough. Basically, you're just not happy. You know there's a higher level that you can be functioning at, and you can't seem to reach it. So, you're here.
And the first thing out of your mouth is one of the following:
"Basically, I'm a disaster."
"I'm probably the most f-ed up person you've ever worked with."
"I'm a huge mess."
I seriously love each and every one of you for coming into my space and being this vulnerable. That in itself is pure strength. I love that you are allowing yourself to open up and show me your soul, your deepest fears and perceived weaknesses. You are amazing. But I do feel like there is something you should know...
EVERYONE is f-ed up in their own special way.
EVERYONE is a disaster in their own unique way.
EVERYONE feels like they are this giant hopeless mess who is operating at a level way, way below the people around them. Below their friends and families who constantly boast about their latest travels and perfect lives. Below the people on Facebook who post non-stop with pictures of their huge homes and vacations and happy kids. Below the shiny people in shiny magazines.
I've worked with some of the shiny people in shiny magazines...and their lives are equally as "messy" as yours, I promise.
We strive to be a certain size. We get there, and we find something else to obsess about. It's not the "thing" we want, it's the FEELING around the thing. Let's be honest: how drastically does your life change when you go from 125 pounds to 120? Yet, there are billions of dollars each year spent by people just to lose those 5 extra pounds.
Maybe we were all put on this earth to be f-ed up. To put ourselves out there and to fail miserably at things, to feel low sometimes and to maybe even hate ourselves at some points, to feel distress and anger and heartache and pain. To experience massive anxiety, and crushing lows. And then...despite all this..
To rise up. To fail and move forward. To swim through the sea of negativity only to launch ourselves up into the light and get into that space of strength born of being immersed in darkness. To be f-ed up in all sorts of interesting ways, to work on those pieces of ourselves, and then to find something else within ourselves to destroy and to rebuild.
So yeah...you're f-ed up. Be proud of the fact that you are gloriously human, that you've found the inner strength to work on the pieces of you that aren't working, that you're willing to embrace all of those parts of yourself, even the dark and the low, and to bring those parts out into the light where they can one day shine along with the rest of you.