The Lure Of Negativity

A few weeks ago, I was driving down a busy road with two lanes. I was behind the car in the left lane when I looked in my rearview and saw that a car was about to hit me from behind. Somehow, miraculously, I managed to tweak my wheel just in time and squeeze my car between the two cars in front of me, with an inch to spare on either side. The car behind me hit the car in front of me, and I ended up completely unscathed. Although the driver in front of me sustained damage to his car, no one was hurt, and the driver who struck him had insurance. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but feel guilty (and also amazed!) that I escaped any repercussions. If you saw the position of my car after the accident, you would also be shaking your head in wonder. It seemed impossible that I was able to avoid being hit. 

The next day, I ran over a nail and got a flat. Guess which incident stayed with me more?

Last month Boston Magazine came to my office to interview me. Exciting, right? I was thrilled; I LOVE Boston Magazine!

And then later that day, I had a last-minute cancellation. Guess which of these two things I spent more time thinking about?

Why is it so much easier to lovingly linger over the negative, rather than the positive? We have such a short memory for the good things. It happens, we get a brief thrill, and then it passes. It's so much easier to hold on to the dark stuff, mulling it over and over, savoring it long after that moment of irritation or sadness has passed. We love to taste our pain, don't we?

Negative events simply make more of an impact on us. Sure, you may have vivid memories of happy moments, too: your first kiss, the first glimpse of your child's face, your wedding day. But overall, the dark stuff lingers longer. You're going to remember the dirty look you received from a coworker long after you've forgotten their smile. 

The good news is, we have some control over this phenomenon, this desire to hold on to the negative and let go of the positive. It's all about retraining our brains, and hypnotherapy is an excellent way to get this process started. 

Interested in learning more about how this works? Contact me! I can be reached at, and I respond to all emails within 24 hours or less.