I Can't Believe This Acupuncture Voodoo Actually Works

Waking up this morning was a sad state of affairs. My head was aching and throbbing, and I wasn't sure why. I felt flushed and overall fatigued and lethargic. After popping a few Excedrin migraine, I headed to the office. With every hour that passed, my headache grew worse, and I felt warmer and warmer. My eyes were red and burning, though, so I was rooting for allergies to be the culprit for all this suffering. I so badly didn't want to be coming down with something; I just don't have time to recover.

My malaise continued to build until I took the next logical step: bitching. I texted my acupuncturist friend to complain about how I felt. She replied with a series of texts that wouldn't make sense to anyone outside of this field:

"TW5."

"LI11."

"LV2."

"Yin Qiao."

"Clear Wind Heat."

Now, for all of you out there not versed in TCM, the first three are acupuncture points. Yin Qiao is an herb, and Wind Heat is the TCM definition of what was going on with me: the feeling of heat, red eyes, and headache are all part of one specific diagnosis. Basically, she was telling me a variety of things that I already know.

I'm in my office. I am an acupuncturist. I have needles. I know where they all go. Yet, for some reason it never occurred to me to treat myself. Why? I have no idea.

So now I have a break between patients. I'm sitting here at my desk, writing this, with 4 needles inserted into 4 acupuncture points. I opted for short and simple: two in the elbows, two between the first and second toes. The elbow needles clear Heat from the body, and the toe needles can help with the headache. (It's also great for rage, if I was feeling especially pissy...and who isn't, when they are in pain?)

Within, I'm not kidding, four minutes...the headache is so slight that I can barely feel it. I started to get some sensations of chills; they passed, and I was left without any residual traces of excess heat in my body. My eyes aren't burning, and my energy seems to be coming back. I'm back to normal.

I guess this alternative health crap really does work!