Staying Connected

Apparently, I am an old, old hag. I'm so old that I can barely get out of my chair without groaning and creaking. I'm so old that I remember what it was like to dial a rotary phone. I'm so old that this week I asked two separate people questions about tape recorders and VCRs. I'm so old that I can actually remember what it was like to get away with things. I'm so old that there was once a time when I actually avoided punishment by explaining to my mom that there was no possible way for me to contact her to let her know why I was going to miss my curfew. Oh, so very old.

Not that I condone lying, but is impossible to get away with anything anymore. I can't get out of plans with harmless white lies, because my Facebook, Twitter, Yelp, blog, Yahoo instant messenger, Google instant messenger, and Foursquare will all reveal the truth. Let my online trail act as my confession. Follow my check-ins if you want to know where I really was last night.

I still remember the first day I joined Facebook. It was a cold, snowy day and I was unaccustomed to having a full day off with nothing to do. I started fiddling around online, and the next thing I know...I was officially obligated to tell the world what I was doing at every moment of the day. "Marisa is..." Hmm. I needed to fill that gap. Eating? Sleeping? Studying? Thrilling stuff. Thank God I now have an outlet to share this information with the world.

For a few months I had a grand old time, looking up old friends (and enemies), catching up on old news. I saw Facebook's best side.

And then it all turned dark. The pictures of cats. The passive-aggressive posts....those damned plagiarized quotes...the PICTURES OF CATS. I have two cats. I like cats. But what is the obsession with all the pictures of cats???

Moving on. One day I tried to hide...I just really needed some alone time! Unfortunately, now that I am on Facebook, every person in my world knows where I am at all times. Uh-oh. If they don't find me on Facebook, they'll find out about the restaurant I went to last night from Yelp. Or from Foursquare. And if they want to join me for dinner tonight? They can give me a call. Oh, I'm not picking up? Leave a message. Then a text. If there isn't an answer, find me on Yahoo messenger. And if all else fails, post a search for me on Facebook.

I'm getting tired of being connected. I'm starting to feel as if I constantly have strings attached to me, tying me down. And it's my own fault. I can leave my phone at home, turn off my computer, leave the world of technology behind me for a while. But then I might miss something!