Have you ever wondered why opposites attract? Well, I've been giving it some thought lately, and I've come to realize that it's a simple equation. When one person has an excess of what another person lacks, they are drawn toward that person like a magnet. Everyone is looking for someone to make them a cohesive whole, whether they know it or not. And, when you meet that person who is so very different from you, you may not know it consciously, but you need something that they have...or vice versa. It's Yin and Yang, in full effect! Allow me to reiterate what I have taught you all about Yin and Yang in past blogs. There is a Yin and a Yang side to every single thing in the universe. The Yin is heavy, dark, cool, soothing, and liquid. The Yang is light, bright, hot, active, and dry. If we were comparing sports, swimming would be more Yin, and hockey would be more Yang. If we were comparing celebrities, Marlon Brando would be Yin, and Al Pacino would be Yang. Between the sun and the moon, the moon would be Yin, and the sun would be Yang. Coffee is Yang, and water is Yin.
Yin and Yang need each other to exist. If there is no up, there cannot be a down. Without a left, there could be no right. Yin and Yang grant us the ability to view everything with relativity.
This relativity applies to people, as well. Most of us exist within a spectrum of Yin and Yang. At the very ends of each side, there would be those whose excess of Yin or Yang leads to a dysfunctional nature. Someone at the far end of the Yin spectrum might be severely depressed, lethargic, and have the tendency to sleep the day away. Someone on the far end of the Yang spectrum could be hyperactive, manic, perhaps violent, and suffer from insomnia.
But for those of us in the middle of this spectrum, Yin and Yang exist in certain proportions. I, for example, have more Yin to my personality. I am generally calm, not overly excitable, and it takes a lot to get me "fired up." Usually, Yang personalities gravitate toward me. Many of my friends are very energetic, feisty, and quick to anger. I enjoy being around them, because I feed off of their frenetic energy-and they enjoy being around me, because I tend to chill them out.
Several years ago, I used to joke with my friends that I wished I could find the male version of myself. Eventually, I found my male version, although we never fell in love. He was exactly like me-so laid back, so willing to go with the flow...he never took life seriously, and I never once saw even a spark of anger in him. After we became friends, we would joke about how alike we were-and one day I realized that my fantasy of meeting the male me would actually be a nightmare. Whenever this guy and I were together, we never got anything done. We would spend hours just passing the responsibility of making a decision back and forth. It was exhausting! It made me realize just how important the balance of personalities can be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise.
I have seen the opposite, as well-two fiery personalities that explode once they come into contact. When I think about it, most of the people I know who have been married for over ten years are polar opposites of each other. They may be different, but those differences equal an energetic balance that keeps the connection strong.